Scouting for Girls
by drbluepepper
Summary: “Oh, don’t worry Blaise! We would be fending every girl off like hungry hyenas by tomorrow evening!”.. . Surprisingly, a DM/HG fanfiction Rated T for Language
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own the characters … all belong to JKRowling

Post DH, everyone went back to school after Voldemort has fallen…

The Evil Plan 

It was almost midnight and two seventh year students were once again out of their beds secretly brewing a potion inside the Room of Requirement. The taller lad was reading from what looks like a very old book of potions while the other was scrambling to add the remaining ingredients.

"Slowly pour the rain water and stir clockwise three times", said the tall boy

"Is it supposed to turn into this disgusting green color?" asked the boy with a pale face with a disgusted look on his face

"It doesn't say here, but maybe it will change when you add the toes of newts", said the tall boy, once again reading from the book

Just as they added the toes of newts, a horrible smell of rotten eggs flooded the Room of Requirement.

"I think there's something wrong with! Are you sure you added the ingredients correctly?" asked the tall boy

"Ofcourse I did! I'm not sure what's wrong, but its probably your fault", said the boy with the pale face

"Me?!?", said the other boy indignantly but remained

The boy with the pale face continued stirring and the smell slowly dissipated and was replaced by the smell of talc powder…

"Remind me why are we doing this again?", asked the tall boy eyeing the brewing potion disgustedly

"Could you actually stomach that the entire Hogwarts female population going moony eyes with Potter?", said the other boy

"Yeah, every girl seemed to be smitten with Scarhead. Even Weaselby is getting some action! You'd think he has a penny for every freckle on his face!" quipped the tall boy

"I know! I mean they did get rid of the Dark Lord, but that doesn't mean they should get all the girls in the bloody school! Even Bullstrode was eyeing Potter the other day! Disgusting!", said Draco

"Yeah, I mean, I used to fend off girls with a stick before this happened, but I couldn't even get a girl to snog me when those two idiots happened!"

"Oh, don't worry Blaise! We would be fending every girl off like hungry hyenas by tomorrow evening!"

oo0oo

The following morning…

Draco and Blaise strutted smugly as they approached their table to have breakfast. They were surveying the Great Hall and was waiting for the perfect timing to use their potion.

"It seems that every girl in Hogwarts in here", Blaise excitedly whispered

"Of course they would be here! Dumbledore has called everybody for some special announcement. Why else would I suggest unleashing the potion now?" Draco said irritably at Blaise

"Right, right. Sometimes, you really put that brain of yours into good work", replied Blaise. "So have you put in a strand of your hair in your potion? I've put a bunch of my hair in mine"

"Yeah, yeah. So we drink it together on the count of three…. One… Two…"

oo0oo

In the meantime…

Hermione shot up from her bed looking at her watch… It read 10:20 am

_O Merlin! I overslept! The assembly was supposed to start at 10am sharp!_

She immediately leapt from her bed and sped into the shower, removing her clothes just in time before the water hits her

_I cannot believe this! Of the day that I can oversleep, why today?? Today is the day that the Headmaster will be announcing who the Heads are!! It would be so embarrassing when I enter the Great Hall… I mean I really am not sure if I am the Headgirl, but come on…I am the most likely candidate… _

Hermione immediately dried and dressed herself and dashed to grab her bag and books.

_Harry and Ron would not let me live this down… _she thought defiantly as she stormed out of the girls dormitory


	2. Chapter 2

AN: You know the drill…

I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned in this fanfic…

Hermione dashed inside the Great Hall avoiding to look at anyone in particular. She sat hurriedly between Harry and Ron.

"What did I miss?", Hermione whispered to Harry and Ron

None of the boys replied but both looked as if they were holding back laughter… Finally Ron lost control and started laughing hysterically… Harry joined in

She was taken aback at the reaction of her two best friends…

"What?" She asked impatiently and started to look around the Great Hall for the first time…

It was then that she noticed the weirdness of the situation. Hermione kept looking around the Great Hall before finally asking

"What's happening you two? Where are all the girls? Did Dumbledore ask them to transfer to another room?", Hermione asked, her panic rising

"Relax Hermione" said Harry, trying to catch his breath

"Yeah, all the girls are out in the hospital wing…" Ron said

"Hospital wing?!!", Cried Hermione. "Are they alright? What happened to them?"

"I think you should be asking 'Who' happened?", Harry said while motioning to the Slytherin table

"Oh', Hermione said some understanding dawning

"Yeah, it the two Slytherin geniuses", said Ron

"Whose intellect only rivaled by garden tools", Harry joked

Both Harry and Ron started to laugh again, Hermione started to relax a bit, although still feeling uneasy

"So what did the 'brains of Slytherin' do now? Poison the pumpkin juice? Make every girl grow big bossoms? Hex every girl into falling inlove with them?, asked Hermione chuckling

"You really are the brightest witch of our age!" said Ron. "Although they did not hex them, they made a potion"

"Professor Snape said it's _valde blanditia_", joined in Neville

"Potion of great attraction?",gasped Hermione

"How does she even know that?", Ron looked at Harry increadously.. "That potion is must be dark and Hermione knows it?"

"Oh shut up Ronald. Professor Slughorn mentioned it once or twice in potions!" Hermione said exasperatedly…"But I didn't realize they were that desperate. I realized that they had become unpopular with the girls after the war… but this?"

"I know! I can't wait to hear what their detention will be, Filch looked like Christmas had come early while he ushered them both out of the Great Hall", said Ron

"When they unleashed it, it affected all the females in the room. It was a jungle! They had to beat off the girls with a barge pole.", Harry said laughing hysterically at the memory

"You said that again, I will forever be haunted with the image of Professor Trelawney drowning Zabini in her bosoms", grunted Ron

"So what happened to the geniuses? Off celebrating as if they had brains I suppose?", Hermione asked curiously

"Slughorn ordered them out of the Great Hall. Probably punishing them now!", said Ron gleefully

"And all the girls were sent to the hospital wing", said Harry

"Ehem.. ehem… and what am I supposed to be, effeminate?", Hermione asked irritably

"Aww…Come on Hermione, you know what I mean", Harry said

Their conversation was interrupted when Professor Slughorn cleared his throat and started to make his announcement

"EHem..ehem… As you all know, we had a very unfortunate incident this morning, and because of that, we will postpone classes until things are.. well .. sorted out. You can now all go back to you dormitories until, um.. further notice"

Students buzzed with this announcement. Harry and Ron started talking excitedly about what they're doing with their free time but both were interrupted with a big sigh from Hermione…

"What? You're disappointed that classes were suspended?", Ron asked teasingly

"Oh shut up Ronald!", said Hermione irritably

"Oh you are Hermione!", Harry joined in the teasing…

"Oh shut up to moron!", Hermione said her face blushing violently at the teasing of his two bestfriends

"I am not disappointed that classes were suspended, I just feel disappointed that I'm stuck with you morons while all the girls are recuperating!", she said finally

"Whatever you say Hermione. Oy! Where are you going?" Ron said, surprised as Hermione stood up and started gathering her things

"To the library", she said casually

"Only you will choose to waste a whole day in the library!", said Harry exasperatedly

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hermione was walking towards the library when she heard a noise inside one of the classroom. Curiosity getting the better of her, she proceeded with pushing the door and was shocked to see Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini looking very scared. Both turned to her and started brandishing sticks in front of her…

"Stay away from us mudblood!" Blaise said panicking

"Yeah", said Malfoy "We don't want you coming near us! We'll hit you with this sticks if you try to attack us"

Hermione started laughing hysterically

"You stupid git! Why would I want to attack you? I'll have you know I was not affected by your potion", she said indignantly

"Not affected?" Blaise asked and turned to Draco "Did you add anything in the potion not to take effect on mudblood?"

"What? No! I didn't mess with the potion! We just made the potion as it was in the book", Draco said

"They why did it not affect Granger?" asked Blaise

"And why would you want it to affect Granger?", asked Draco suspiciously. "Don't tell me you fancy that mudblood"

"Don't be a git! It means there is a loophole to the potion!" Blaise said excitedly

"Oh come on! Its more likely that Granger here is not truly a girl rather than the potion having a loophole"

"You gits seem to be making an extra effort to be stupid today", Hermione said her arms crossed

"Shut up mudblood. This does not concern you" Draco said

"Atleast I'm not pathetic like you! I don't need to poison everyone in school for them to like me!", Hermione said indignantly

"Well, I'd rather poison myself than for you to like me!", said Draco

"Well maybe you should and then you'd be doing the world a favor", retorted Hermione

"Shut up you two! I can't think when you're having a row there!", shouted Blaise

"Oh?", Hermione said laughing sarcastically. "You can't think no matter what the conditions are Zabini"

"Why you filthy little…"

"Shut up Blaise… Granger. Just tell us why didn't the potion affect you and then go" said Draco wearily

"Now why would I bloody do that?" Hermione said curtly and left the room

"That woman is driving me crazy!", said Blaise

"I know, but I think we need to find out how come she did not get affected by the potion", said Draco..."We may have to play nice"

"Ooohh... I can't wait", said Blaise sarcastically


	3. Chapter 3

AN/

I know that you guys might have thought that I had abandoned this fanfic... I nearly did, as you know, sometimes, real life gets in the way. However, I keep finding myself going back to this piece that I have written and regretting not finishing it at all... After all, everybody hates an unfinished story...

So after almost a year of hiatus, I am proud to say I am continuing this story... and I hope you enjoy reading

NOTE: I do not own anything... all characters are owned by JKRowling... I am merely borrowing them for this story... I do not earn any money out of this...

Chapter 4:

Hermione Granger cannot keep the smile...no, make that smirk on her face while she was making her homework and her two bestfriends, Harry and Ron, cannot help but feel worried about her

Ron altogether stopped writing on his parchment and stared directly at Hermione

"Alright, spill it Hermione! Your smirking is driving me insane... ", asked Ron

"What?", Hermione asked absent-mindedly. "Oh, its nothing really. I just had a chat with our two brainiacs at the corridor earlier"

"You mean Malfoy and Zabini?", asked Harry sounding a little concerned. "They did not hurt you, did they?"

"Oh, no!", said Hermione. "In fact, I have uncovered the depth of their stupidity". At this Hermione started laughing like a hyena, clutching her sides, tears starting to roll from her eyes and slowly showing signs of difficulty in breathing.

The two boys continue to stare at their friend. Harry, fearing that she had just been pushed over the edge, started at his friend uncomfortably.

Ron cleared his throat "Ehhrrmm... "

Hermione just looked at Ron but continued laughing like a madwoman.

This went on for another three minutes or so, before Hermione was able to compose herself.

"Well... are you going to tell us ....", Ron asked impatiently

But before Ron could finish his sentence, Hermione started gathering her things and happily said to them... "Not really, not yet anyway"

And with that, she left the two irritated boys.

000000

Meanwhile in the Dungeons, our two wonder boys are concocting another plan. This time, not to lure all the girls in Hogwarts, but to lure on girl in particular...

"Granger", said Blaise, as he pointed to the blackboard that he and Draco have nicked in one of the abandoned classroom

"Born September 19, only child of muggle dentist and the only girl in the golden trio. Owns a cat, that looks like a small tiger, really. And allegedly had 2 years relations with Quidditch star Viktor Krum", Blaise said proudly

"Is that all?" Draco snorted. "You went snooping around and this is all what you get about Granger? A troll would have done a better job!"

"Hey, I bet you didn't even know she had a cat", Blaise said defensively

"Of course I knew she has a bloody cat, you git! Everyone at Hogwarts!", Draco said exasperatedly. "Really, when you want something to get done, you really have to do it yourself", Draco muttered. "Did you atleast manage to get a copy of her course schedule?"

"Oh right, about that..."

"Unbelievable Blaise! I would have probably done better to ask Goyle or Crabbe", Draco said feeling more frustrated

"Alright, alright!" Blaise said, his hands raised. "So i am not good with this spying thing, so sue me! Why are you so obsessed with Granger? Are you sure you do not fancy her? "

Draco threw the huge books at Blaise, luckily, he was able to dodge all three books

"You do not understand how important it is that we get to know Granger!" Draco said. toKnowing everything about her will give us ammunition to blackmail her prissy Gryffindor behind into telling us why the potion did not affect her!"

"I told you, I really think its because she's a mudblood. Maybe the potion doesn't work on mudbloods!", said Blaise

"Care to test your theory then?" Challenged Draco

"What do you mean?" Blaise asked suspiciously

"I mean slip the remaining potion to the other remaining mudblood in the school", Draco said plainly

"But that's Finch-Fletchly!", Blaise said indignantly

"Exactly!", said Draco


End file.
